Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
