you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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