we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
