dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
