i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize