I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
