Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize