Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
