he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
