Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Randomize
