His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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