I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
