We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
