it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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