Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
