Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
