i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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