nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize