I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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