what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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