Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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