Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
