i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
