I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
