I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
