Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
