It's Friday. Sex?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
