She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
