man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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