what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
