i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
