drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
