i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
