His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
