At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
