I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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