the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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