and she was petting her beer can
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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