just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
we're making bets on your personal life
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
