Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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