3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
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