Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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