This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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