somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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