I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just want nice things and good sex
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
tell me about the eggs
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
