a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
