This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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