I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize