Me too!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
