Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
