What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize