I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
