You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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