your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
