their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
