Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
