I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
