dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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