Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
that's an acceptable place to lick
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
