The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
