So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
