i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
