You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
