I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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