I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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