im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
